i am me because you are you.

Life is kinda nuts sometimes.

and by kinda I mean super.

and by sometimes I mean always.

I'm going through a lot of transition right now.

I don't really know how to handle it.

I'm trying though.

and by trying I mean tip-toeing around the issues at hand as if I were walking through a minefield. 

Change is funky.

I think I like it though.

As Meredith Grey (the all-knowing surgeon from Grey's Anatomy) puts it,

"We all think we're going to be great. And we feel a little bit robbed when our expectations aren't met. But, sometimes, our expectations sell us short. Sometimes, the expected simply pales in comparison to the unexpected."

As I go through trials,

trials that seem to be standing outside the door in a line waiting for the prime opportunity to spring themselves upon me without providing a mere courteous warning. 

I am able to stand.

I know who I am.

Those facts will never change.

I am undoubtedly me.

I have been formed,

shaped,

molded,

broken,

repaired,

bruised,

buffed,

torn,

patched,

made.

I am me.

Meredith continues
"You gotta wonder why we cling to our expectations. Because the expected is just what keeps us steady... standing... still. The expected is just the beginning. The unexpected... is what changes our lives."

I am me thankful to my family.

They have been solid through it all.

I am indescribably thankful for them.

There are others though.

Others who are not bonded to me by blood.

Others who chose to walk with me,

encourage me,

challenge me,

invest in me,

and be vulnerable with me.

I am me because they are them.

_____

Thank you.

_____

Jen Easton

You showed me what it means to serve. You took me on my first missions trip to Gleanings for the Hungry. You not only showed me how to serve through 'official' mission, you showed me how to serve through your daily actions. You then provided me with my first real leadership opportunities. You gave me the chance to put what I had observed through your life into practice in my own.

I am me because you are you.

Jeremy Bryant

You have invested in me for over 15 years. You, as a middle schooler, took time to be in relation with me as a elementary schooler. Then, as you entered high school, you became the cool older brother that I always wanted. When you were in college and would come back to the Harb for breaks, you would always make sure to say a special hello to me. Now, as an adult, you invest in me as an adult. You mentor me and show me how to choose joy. You continually inspire me to persevere.Your raw faith challenges me to view my own faith with a lens of reality. You ask questions that I would never ask myself. You ground me.

I am me because you are you.

Bill and Joelene Lemke

You two... dad and mom. I don't need to try around you. You see through all the bull shit. You welcome me. I have always felt like an equal around the two of you. The last ten years as I have been trying to figure out what my true identity is. I have been able to do this along side you guys. In some ways I feel like we went through similar processes of discovery; mine being what it means to be a young woman grounded in Christ and strong in character while yours being what it means to mourn and commemorate in a worthy and honorable manner. We have discovered together.

I am me because you two are you. 

Heather Mahar

I have not known you for many years, but the years in which I have known you have been life changing. As you know, I don't exactly open up with ease. You knew that, and yet you didn't push me. You let me come and sit with you in your office. Just sit. You then noticed my strengths and encouraged me to pursue them. You didn't tell me flat out though, you provided me with opportunities to succeed. I don't do very well with authority, and I think you recognized that. So, you didn't pursue a mentor-mentee relationship, you pursued a genuine friendship. Now, I know that I can come to you and you will listen, encourage and then speak. You speak so much truth into my life and I am so grateful for that.

I am me because you are you.

Scott and Kristen Mullhurn

I don't think the two of you realize just how important you are to me. You guys not only provide me with excellent standards for a relationship, you guys provide me with excellent standards for life in general. You don't settle. You set goals and you reach them. You are ambitious, but you're humble about it. Scott, you accept challenges like a champ. You reach higher and higher and higher. Kristen, you are one of the most encouraging people that I know. It seems that whenever I'm down you know, and you encourage. Whether through Facebook, text or in person communication... you encourage.

I am me because you two are you.

Mrs. Marinelli

I doubt you realize the influence that you have had on my life. (Also, so sorry for not saying hi this summer. every time I would see you I would be whisked away by middle schoolers.) Your enthusiasm in the classroom inspired my love of learning. I was privileged to have you for freshman English as well as AP Lit. What a way to bookend my high school career, right? (My sister also loves you BTW. She would snap chat me Marinelli quotes throughout the year when she was inspired!) When I graduated, went to Rwanda, and returned to the Harbor, you invited me over to your house to share a meal. That meant the world to me. It also encouraged me to seek out relationships with my professors. Because of your initiative, I now take initiative with all of my instructors and have built fabulous relationships. I would not have had that courage if not for you.

I am me because you are you.

Kevin Cannaday

You, in a similar fashion to Jeremy, are like a brother to me. You have been there for me through thick and thin. You actually care. I remember you being a leader on my middle school mission trips and being seriously the cat's pajamas. Your leadership among both the students and the other leaders challenged me to be a stronger leader among my peers. Your love of adventure taught me that fun is good. Actually, it showed me that fun is great. Your life has not been dull, it has consisted of one adventure after the other.Your boldness to travel and dive head first into uncertain situations encourages me to do the same.

I am me because you are you.

Professor Willitts

I really appreciate the investment that you have placed in my life, both in an academic and spiritual sense. You have taught me how to appreciate my faith through research and lecture. I had never thought of  approaching the Bible through an academic lens with the purpose of deepening faith. They were always in separate universes for me. Thanks to you I have learned to love questioning my faith and seeking consequent answers. You have encouraged me greatly to challenge myself in an academic capacity. I did not view myself as someone with a gifted brain until you sat me down and told me to embrace that truth.

I am me because you are you. 

Kellie Rock

Girl, you know you're great, right? It is not the average human that will take a little baby freshman under their wing during their senior year. The way you embrace life and strive to be as close as possible to Christ challenges me to do the same. Being of the same field also makes faith and life real to me. You showed me that through our world of academics you can find beauty in faith. You helped me find connections between my love of the world and my love of God. You somehow got me to open up. That is quite a feat. You waxed my legs. I don't know how that has exactly formed me into who I am today, but it was quite a milestone for our relationship. Although we were only in close proximity to each other for one academic year, I still feel that through limited communication, you are a rock in my life (haha... get it?). I am so thankful for your friendship.

I am me because you are you.

Rebecca Crow

My dear, you have shaped me greatly. You show me how important it is to remain an individual. You show me that being unique is beautiful and should be cherished. You peruse me whenever I am in the Harbor to get lunch, or coffee. You enter into these meetings without expectation. You enter into these meetings with great anticipation. You make me feel like I am the only human on the planet when we talk. You put so much energy into listening and understanding every word that I say. I hope that someday, I can listen with the intentionality that you listen with.

I am me because you are you.

Neil Hampton

When I was a super angsty teenager, you listened to me. You didn't have to, but you did anyways. You suffered through all the dumb drama and you responded with sane advise. You were a constant in my life when friends my age were not. I'm really thankful for that. When thought that I had nobody, you proved that I had you. You would always listen.

I am me because you are you.

_____

Thanks to these adults, I am me.

Thanks to these adults, I will be strong.

Thanks to these adults I will always know who I am, what I believe, and in whom to put my trust.

_____

"Have I not commanded you? Be strong and courageous. Do not be afraid; do not be discouraged, for the Lord your God will be with you wherever you go."
Joshua 1:9

 Beside You

Marriana's Trench 

A small note to my peers. You all, obviously, have had quite an impact on my life. You know me more than I know me. Thank you for staying with me. Together, we are better.