choose one

The wise mad built his house upon the rock,

and the rains came tumbling down.

The rain came down

and the floods came up,

but the house on the rock stood firm.

___

Today, I am splish-splashing around Albany Park in my oh-so-colorful rain boots enjoying, and melting into, the rainy day that has become. 

Days like this provoke an equally excited and melancholy response in the deepest corners of my soul.

I'm thoroughly enthused by the sound of rain hitting my window, cars driving through puddles and the absence of voices due to everyone being tucked away in their homes, probably snuggling, or so I would like to assume.

I wish there were "rain days" in real life such as were "snow days" in elementary, middle and high school life.

In the Harb we would have "snow days" all of the time due to our total lack of preparation when it came to winter. It's so incredibly hilly there that if we had even 1/4 inch of snow, the buses could not run and we would get to stay home, cozied up by the fire, livin' the dream.

Even better than that was when we would get a "two hour delay" because they knew that the 1/4 inch of snow would shortly melt. On those days we were allotted a lazy morning but did not have to make up the lack of days come the end of the semester. 

How wonderful would life be if on these stormy days the world said, "Let's take a two hour delay. Enjoy your coffee, wool socks, fluffy blankets, and mental health."? 

___

Mental health.

What even is that?

Does it exist in the real world?

Or is mental health just as fanciful as receiving textbooks on time, having Beyonce as president, liking spinach, or being able to run a 6 minute mile?

The rains came down.

I recently saw this diagram and it made me laugh,

then frown because...

accurate.

Being the perfectionist that I am, an even more accurate statement would be

"choose one."

A snarky commentary posted this image to describe the actual college life.

"Choose two" to succeed but really "choose one" to excel when the reality is that you have 1,639 categories from which none can flourish as a result of the ever constricting element of time.

The floods come up.

___

What am I building my house upon?

I ask myself this question often.

But I rarely do anything about about the reality of my response.

___

The foolish man built his house upon the sand,

and the rains came tumbling down.

The rain came down

and the floods came up.

,and the house on the sand fell flat. 

___

I would love to say, undoubtedly, that I build my house on the Rock.

"Rock" being Jesus, not Dwayne Johnson, in case you were confused.

Yeah, totally, Jesus is my foundation.

Everything I do in life is rooted in Him.

I give Him glory through my studies.

I center Him in my work.

My relationships revolve around Him.

The way I use my "free time" stems from what is holy and good.

I walk humbly, love mercy, and am active in pursuing justice.

I mean... it would be super cool if that was true.

But it's not.

___

Recently I was totally convicted regarding my priorities.

Pastor Judy has challenged me to memorize 2 Peter 1-13.

So, I have a laminated, bookmark shaped, copy of the verses in my Bible.

The other day I grabbed my Bible to work on the verses when I caught myself thinking.

"Man, I should put this in my planner so that I look at it more often throughout the day."

Good job, Kayla.

Maybe you should just look at your Bible more.

Maybe you should build your house there, not in your own plans.

Get your house out of the sand, and steady on that rock, or you'll be washed away. 

___

This semester is uncomfortably hectic.

My mental, and spiritual, health are too often put on the back burner.

I am so quick to justify studying till three in the morning but not at all down to take 20 minutes to go on a walk with God.

Saying is one thing, 

but doing is another.

Calling out issues does nothing if not acted upon in a manner of change.

___

So build your life on the Lord Jesus Christ

and the blessings will come down.

The blessings will come down

as your prayers go up,

so build your life on the Lord. 

Let's take a two hour mental health break.

World, would you like to join me?

There will be nutella, veggie straws, Christmas lights, Hilary Duff's "Come Clean", and most importantly, the Lord of Lords, King of Kings, personal, loving God, that is Jesus Christ our Savior.

This is how a house begins to be built 

on the Rock.

ke bua setswana... go le gonnye

So a strange thing happened to me the other day.

I found myself furiously defending the entire continent of Africa,

and when I say furiously... I mean ferociously, fiercely and full of righteous indignation-ly defending this vastly diverse continent.
___

I'm in a super neat class here at NPU which is doing in depth study regarding how language develops a culture and in turn how a culture develops a language.

The participants in the class were asked to devote their time to this project based on their prior knowledge of languages foreign to English.

We have understanders of Biblical Greek, Czech, Norwegian, Spanish, French, Arabic, Italian and then myself, our resident Setswana speaker.

After one class in which I dissected some element of the Setswana language in comparison to others, a student approached me while I was walking to work to ask me a question that fueled my holy rage fire and boiled every ounce of blood in my body.

"So you went to school in Africa... They have universities there?"

He then continued to badger me with questions like,

"North Park allowed you to transfer credits from a university in Africa?
They actually accepted those credits?

Did you have professors who completed their degrees?
Like, did they even have a Master's?

Did they go to schools in Europe or America?

Were they African?
Did your university have only Africans?

Did you even have text books?

Were the text books published in Africa or the US?

Did you have computers to do research on?

Were there libraries?

Did you actually learn anything,
Or did you just teach people things?"

Umm.
Intshwarele.
Excuse me.
No words.
I have no words.

But at the same time, I have so many words.
So many choice words.
Alllllll the choice words.
My goodness.

This institutionalized racism needs to end.
This deeply implanted myth preaching that skin color effects your intelligence needs to be destroyed.
These falsehoods regarding Africa as a country rather than a continent need to be corrected.
The stigma placed upon any education system other than the American way needs to be reassessed for its fiction.
Our Western perspectives need to be reevaluated and redacted before rereleased, if they are even worthy of being heard by this world.

I recently heard of an African American student stating in class that s/he will never be as smart as her/his white peers.

How can this be perceived, for even a millisecond, as a truth?

This horrifying lie should no longer be allowed to survive.
Cut it down.
Cut it down, now.
___

As I was defending the continent of Africa I was made fully aware of my unique and difficult position within this argument.

I cannot speak on behalf of the continent of Africa.
Really, nobody can.
Africa is frickin' huge.
We're talkin 54 countries, 9 territories and 2 facto independent states,
1.11 billion people,
1,250 - 2,100 (with some counts of over 3,000) languages spoken,
and at least 3,000 ethnic groups...

I can't even speak for the country of Botswana.
(it's 2 million people/Tswana, Kalanga, Basarwa, Kgalagadi and other ethnic groups/Setswana, Kalanga and Sekgalagadi languages)
Ke bua Setswana... go le gonnye.
I speak Setswana, well, a small bit.

I can shine light regarding my experiences gained within my six months there,
I can ask questions and seek answers,
but that's really it.
___

Where does this leave me?
I'm a young, blonde haired, blue eyed, extremely pale, middle class, semi-educated, woman...
What platform do I have to speak power into the entire continent of Africa?
Who will listen?
Who will condemn?

"He has shown you, O mortal, what is good.
And what does the Lord require of you?
To act justly and to love mercy
and to walk humbly with your God."
Micah 6:8
___

I am a young, blonde haired, blue eyed, extremely pale, middle class, semi-educated woman.
This is fact.
But I am also a truth-seeking, justice-advocating, mercy-loving, Christ follower.
This is identity.
___

Last weekend I went on a retreat with the University Ministries department here at NPU as a member of the Chapel Serving Team.
 Our team got together to discuss the year, our dreams for Chapel, encouragements, prayer requests, ya know... Good Jesus stuff, when the question of discernment arose.

How do you know when God is speaking to you?
How do you know when an action is Christ inspired?
How can you be sure that you are acting justly, loving mercy and walking humbly with God?

One of our fantastic team members, Taylor Volk, responded,
"Am I loving God? Am I loving people?
That's what Jesus said the two greatest commandments are."

How simple and true is that?

Am I loving God?
Am I loving people?
___

As I struggle with what my platform is from which I can speak truth against the lies regarding Africa as lesser, skin color as a defining factor influencing intelligence, and racism as an accepted reality,
I must ask myself

"Am I loving God?"
"Am I loving people?"
"Am I acting justly, loving mercy and walking humbly with my God?"

If the answer is yes,
in that truth I have a platform.
___

I don't have it all figured out.
I actually have nothing figured out.
Like really, nothing.
Thankfully, my God has everything figured out.
In that I find strength,
peace,
grace,
encouragement,
and a constant nudge to act.

"Speak Lord, your servant is listening."