Here in my apartment my roommates and I have created a semi-efficient responsibilities rotation. Every week we are assigned new roles to fulfill for the days to follow. These rolls include the usual housekeeping duties: sweeping (or "brooming" as Tracy would call it), vacuuming, bathroom cleaning, kitchen cleaning, garbage removal ect... Outside of these rotational "chores", we also have rotational responsibilities that do not have to do with the general cleanliness of our residence. This final rotation has to do with the spiritual and communal life of our home.
This rotational responsibility includes a weekly devotion (Tuesday morning) and a weekly meal (usually Thursday morning or Friday night). During this time one of us will present some lesson of encouragement or challenge for the week in a devotional and then will cook a meal to be shared by all where we have the opportunity to be intentional with the relationships we share with each other.
This week is my week.
My week to lead the devotional.
My week to cook the meal.
(and my week to clean the bathroom...)
While preparing for my devotional I was struggling. Usually, this is a piece of cake for me. I have grown up in the church, going to numerous summer camps and Sunday schools... devotionals are nothing new to me. But, for some reason, I could not think of a topic for discussion.
I was attempting to share a lesson with my roommates about God, that was not inspired by God.
Well, that doesn't work, let me tell you.
As I recognized the absurdity of my attempt, I laughed a little, put down my notebook and closed my eyes.
I then said to myself, "Speak Lord, your servant is listening."
Beautifully, He spoke.
"Be still."
Okay... I can be still, but I really need to plan this devotional.... it is supposed to start in 20 minutes.
"Be still."
I opened my Bible to Psalm 46.
In this Psalm, the psalmist writes "Be still and know that I am God; I will be exalted among the nations, I will be exalted in the Earth."
BINGO
There's my devotion! I can read Psalm 46, talk about the need to be still and take the time to recognize God around us in this busy time.
Done.
So, my roommates gathered around and I began to share.
Immediately, the words I was saying were surprising me. It is a funny thing, when you lose control of your words. This has only happened to me a few times, each time revealing to me something incredible.
This time was different though. I was not speaking out against some injustice, or sharing the gospel with a friend... I was being vulnerable and sharing about myself.
Those of you that know me know that this is rare and those of you that truly know me know that this is almost unheard of!
Sharing about myself is extremely difficult for me.
But I digress.
As I was sharing about the need to be still I found myself flipping through my Bible and stopping in John, chapter 11. This is the story of Lazarus.
You see, the event of raising Lazarus from the dead is always the part of the passage preached in Sunday school, but the events leading up to that instance are often overlooked because they lack the 'wow factor'.
These events are what make the story difficult and some what frustrating.
Jesus was out and about, doing Jesus things, when Mary and Martha rushed to him. They urged Jesus to come with them to help their friend Lazarus, the one he loved, who was terribly ill. Jesus heard their cries for help and assured them that all is for God's glory. Then, he stayed where he was for two days. He did not rush to the aid of his friend. He let Lazarus die.
It makes me wonder, what were Mary and Martha thinking for those two days that Jesus let them suffer? Surely they were not jumping for joy, though Jesus did tell them that this was for God's glory.
I look through my life and recognize so many times that everything just sucked. I can easily point out instances where I felt completely abandoned by God and could not see how any good could come from what I was going through.
Here's the thing though, after those two days, Jesus showed up and he raised Lazarus from the dead.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but Lazarus couldn't have been raised from the dead if he was still alive.
That amazing witness to God's glory, power and love could not have been demonstrated without the momentary pain and discomfort of well, death.
"Be still and know that I am God; I will be exalted among the nations, I will be exalted in the Earth."
I then played for them a song that is well known and often one of those "play really loud, throw your hands in the air and sing with no reservation songs"
The lyrics are beautiful, but I often wonder if the people who so wholeheartedly sing them are truly understanding what they are professing.
The song is "Blessed be Your Name" by Matt Redman.
It opens proclaiming all of the joys that happen in life and how we are to praise God for them.
The second verse proclaims all of the pains that happen in life... we are to praise God for them.
And it continues on in this fashion until it concludes with this beautifully difficult statement:
"You give and take away, You give and take away. My heart will choose to say Lord, blessed be your name."
This song is an ultimate expression of surrender to God's will and plan.
The moment that we can "Be still and know that God is God", when we can release control on our lives and truly abandon our personal desire we are freed to bless God's name no matter what this world throws at us.
Well, Amen.
Amen!
I was vulnerable with my roommates when sharing this. I let God speak through me and it was really difficult. I was speaking these words and wrestling with them at the same time.
This total surrender stuff, it's super hard.
This acceptance of God's reality rather than your own.... yeah, that takes work.
But I'm willing to work at it because I know that God's plans, well... they are way more amazing than anything my little brain could ever conjure up.
Be still.
Breathe.
Know.
Know that He is God.
Blessed be His name.
