these moments

Do you ever have those moments where for just a second the world stands still, but at the same time rushes faster than it ever has before?

 

You hear that one song lyric which perfectly captures your current sentiment and in that instance you are still in its eloquence while simultaneously being rapidly flooded with every memory linked to those perfectly placed words.

 

You are surrounded by a breeze laced with the smell of a perfume you wore in middle school and just that one small sniff gives you pause to remember and once the wheels start spinning, you know they will go on forever replaying scenes from your awkward, yet incredibly formative, years.

 

A stranger smiles at you in the grocery store and in that instance, they resemble someone you have lost. You stop, smile back, and continue shopping with the thought of that person and their laugh echoing in the background of your day.

 

These moments.

 

 

 

A few days ago I drove up to the booming metropolis of Merlin, Oregon to meet up with my family for some time adventuring together around the Rogue River.

 

As I drove up I-5 I kept passing these landmarks that froze time while blowing up my mind with all the feels and memories.

___

 

When I was 4 years old, my family moved from Ventura, California up to Gig Harbor, Washington. Since the majority of our family resides in the Bay Area and we had tons of friends still down in So Cal, every summer we would make the drive. We would usually go from the Harb to Shasta to stay with friends up there for a small while, then trek through the rest of California one couch at a time.

 

Onto I-5... off of I-5... onto I-5... off of I-5...

 

One might say that I know that particular highway unnaturally well.

 

So, as I made my way up to the river alone, my head and heart were given the space to be paused and reminded.

___

 

99 bottles of milk on the wall

slap-jack in the back with Mads

unhealthily competitive Disney 20 questions

cherry tomato fights

that one time Mads and I were driving alone and an entire nest of red, jumpy spiders hatched in the car above our heads

the Wicked soundtrack for 16 hours strait

unwanted snuggle seshes with whoever is in the back because, surprise, my family is tall

mom's boss gansta driving skilz

mobbing

___

 

Castle Crags

Shasta

the bridges in Portland

the Matterhorn

the ivy covered walls in Olympia

winding through the passes

welcome to Oregon

welcome to California

welcome to Washington

Fort Lewis

Fort Lewis's traffic

the endless fields

Mr. Rainier

Lake Siskiyou

the Jelly Belly Factory

___

 

I'd been driving for about 5 hours when I turned a corner and to my right was Shasta and my left were the Castle Crags.

I turned off my music and let the memories consume me.

My right eye released a single tear.

Then

in that place

at that time

the last 21 years were one second

and I couldn't help but be overwhelmed by God's glory

power

love

and his hand that has so obviously been holding mine.

___

 

I love my family.
Mom
you're so wise and have been the most amazing role model for me and my friends.
Dad
you show me what it looks like to have fun but to constantly learn through it.
Mads
you bruise my hand every summer while we play slap-jack in the back seat. (but I'm crying on the inside because I'M A WINNER.)

 

Through it all

they are there.

Through it all

You are here.

 

Thank you.

___

 

Yesterday I went over to the house of some family friends in the Rocklin area to hang with the fam, friends and a diet coke while watching the soccer game.

When we were deciding what to do with our afternoon earlier in the day and this watching soccer idea emerged, Mads looked at me and said

"What are the possessions in soccer, again?"

so as I began to say

"Defenders and..."

she energetically interrupted

"OFFENDERS"

 

Yes, Madison. Defenders and offenders.

One side is rude and the other side counters it.

This is soccer.

 

"Those cleats make you look like you have Sasquatch feet."

"Quick, defend! Defend!"

___

 

Family is cool.

Here's to many more memories

and the willingness to live into moments of reflection.