because i am a woman

Botswana is incredibly beautiful.

As I sit writing I am surrounded by twisty, worn trees with beautiful blossoms of Easter-esc, pastel colors.

Garden workers buzz around me, each never passing without a cheerful greeting of "Dumela mma". 

Good morning mam.

Their early morning cheerfulness inspires me to welcome each new day with their same excitement.

I am off to present a poem I have written for class.

The poem is titled "Because I am a woman".

It is a feminist interpretation of Mark 5:21-43

otherwise known as the story of the bleeding woman.

For me, this poem has become more than just an assignment.

It has become an outlet for me to express my frustration with the incredibly patriarchal society that is Botswana.

As I wrote, I continually asked God to prepare me to speak truth to the audience I was to share it with.

While I was reading, and rereading, and rereading and.... well, rereading the story, my mind was fixated on answering the question "How can this story be told to empower women?"

But more than that

"How can this story be told to empower Motswana women?"

Many people here have faith.

It is quite astounding how many times I have been invited to attend church with a complete stranger.

But sadly, the patriarchy in the church is dominant in Botswana.

Women are not built up within the walls of the church, they are, most often torn down.

My faith does not tear down women.

My religion does not tear down women.

My Messiah, he definitely does not tear down women.

Yet here, that is not the reality.

I was only given a week's time to compose my poem.

I could tweak and refine my words for years.

This task was too important to give haste to!

Why do I doubt God's hand?

Every day my heart breaks for the people of Botswana.

The oppression is severe. 

The woman are patronized, objectified and constantly belittled all in the name of culture.

They are given worth based on their ability to please a man.

Brains, imaginations, cleverness, confidence, strength... they are of no value here.

For a woman.

My heart does not only break for the women, it also breaks for the men.

With the rise of global feminism, young women are given special attention and are beginning to be taught what it is to be a woman.

For the man, the "proper" characteristics and behaviors are assumed.

They are not discussed.

Women are beginning to gather to discuss their place and power.

Men, they are left to figure out their slowly changing roles in society all on their own.

This has given birth to passion killings.

Men are back lashing too swiftly and fiercely to the newly, and only so slightly, empowered woman.

The "need" to show power and dominance is dramatized to the murders of several unsuspecting women.

The tensions are addressed and therefore worsening. 

As I look into the eyes of the young men and women in my class, my heart beat quickens. 

I feel so alone.

My message so contradictory to this culture.

I am not alone.

Who am I kidding?

I have the bleeding woman.

"Because I am a woman"

A poetic interpretation of Mark 5:21-43

By Kayla Stelle

Silent thought I speak.

Quite while I scream.

I am not heard,

because I am a woman.

If that were not enough,

they call me unclean;

a child of some cruel sin

because I am a woman.

My small fortune has been spent;

promised healings are not delivered.

Forever I will sleep in dirt

because I am a woman.

I find myself craving mercy;

day by day losing worth.

Surely He will never touch me

because I am a woman.

I am sinking like a stone.

If only I could touch his coat

His power will descend upon me and I will be made new

even though, I am a woman.

His nearness gives me an unexplainable strength!

I crawl through the ever-growing crowd

but nobody takes notice, they are blind to my attendance

because I am a woman.

I slowly raise my frail hand;

doubt fights against belief.

This is my only chance

because I am a woman.

Immediately He turns around.

It is as if He senses my presence.

He calls for the one who touched him.

He calls for me, a woman.

In that moment, I'm amazed!

My body has been completely restored!

Then, I fall trembling at his feet, in fear,

because I am a woman.

I open my mouth to speak and a stutter comes out.

I share with Him the horrors that are my life.

Every single truth He hears

even though I am a woman.

"Daughter" He says as He looks deep into my eyes,

"Your faith has healed you."

Now, I am His child,

a beloved and cherished woman.

Away from Him I go,

my life now a testament of faith.

I am unique, treasured, empowered

because I am a woman.

Because I am a woman

my story now transcends...

cultures, genders, laws-- they have no say!

My Messiah, He heals women. 

___

I could choose to ignore the suffering that is all around me.

It would be easy to focus on the beauty that has blessed this country.

If I so desired, walking in oblivion would be a simple solution.

But, my Messiah, He heals women.